Mark Malkoff: YouTube’s Fittest Comedian? (Humor)

Mark Malkoff is an American comedian, writer, and filmmaker who formerly worked for Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report. He is a graduate of New York University and currently lives in New York City. Yes, I am quoting his Wikipedia page. I’ve been following Mark for a while, since we became acquainted as fans of the ABC TV show Lost (in 2006 or so), and lots of folks were going to podcasts and social media for clues about this mysterious TV series. Since then, it’s been exciting to watch Mark’s YouTube “challenges,” which often involve marathon-style efforts, both in time spent and physical exertion. Recently, I was wondering: Is Mark Malkoff the fittest comedian on YouTube?

Mark is a vegetarian, and I know for a while at least he was a “raw food” eater and a vegan. (For a moment, consider that he also grew up in Hershey, Pennsylvania, Chocolate Capital of the World.) So he’s got the nutrition angle covered.

Active Challenges

For his first well-known challenge, 171 Starbucks (2007), Mark rode a bike around Manhattan for a full day, to visit every Starbucks location and “consume an item” (including, of course, too much coffee). He used the bicycle because he determined it was the quickest way to navigate city streets in a limited amount of time. He also had to find a director/cameraman who was crazy enough to follow him on a bike.

For the Six-Pack Abs Challenge (2011), Mark worked with a personal trainer to see if the infomercial claims were true, for an average guy to exercise and diet his way to six-pack abs in just 30 days. You can see the results for yourself, but let’s just say I hated him for a little while. (Not really, because it was hard work.)

Big Wheel vs Bus (NY Daily News photo)

In Big Wheel vs. Bus (2011), Mark took on a common complaint of city bus riders: Would it be quicker to walk? Of course, he added a comedy element by “racing” with a bus down a section of 42nd Street in Manhattan while riding a Mattel Big Wheel (plastic tricycle for children). Not as exciting as professional motor sports, but still very entertaining.

For the Fitness Guinea Pig series on the EverydayHealth YouTube channel, Mark agreed to test two very different products: The Shake Weight and the Master Cleanse. As you can imagine, the results were both humorous and not quite as advertised.

In the Vegan 28 Day Challenge (2013), Mark went back to personal trainer Robert Brace to get back in shape, after he lost his six-pack abs from the previous challenge, and gained… 12 pounds? Well for a guy who was ripped at 120 pounds, that’s enough to make a difference. Check out the results!

Less-Active Challenges

After expending all that effort to visit every Starbucks in Manhattan, Mark was ready to slow down. For Mark Lives in Ikea (2008), he spent a week at the famous furniture store’s location in Paramus, New Jersey, as a sort of “performance artist,” while his apartment was being fumigated. A lot of the video clips show Mark walking (or running) around the store, interacting with employees and customers, but Mark Gets Buff in Ikea shows it wasn’t all fun and games.

In 2009, Mark did a challenge for AirTran Airways, called Mark on AirTran.  He resolved to overcome his fear of flying by living on an AirTran plane for 30 days. As I remember from watching the videos, in addition to the physical discomfort, personal hygiene was also a challenge. Mark told me in a Facebook chat that he exercised by jogging up and down the aisles of the plane in betweeen flights, and took vitamins.

Mark Malkoff Internet Detox (NY Daily News photo)

In 2010, Mark decided he was spending too much time on news and social media websites, and he needed a 5 Day Internet Detox. He figured that the safest place to “get away from it all,” without the temptation of picking up a smartphone or sitting at a computer, would be in his own bathroom (of course!). In this confined space, which happens to be the same color and approximately the same size as my own bathroom, the best he could do for physical activity was some stretching.

Since I’ve mentioned practically everything else, for Mark’s Netflix Challenge (2012), he watched over 250 movies in 30 days. He did get out of the apartment once in a while, though. For instance, he spoke to 80s Brat Pack actor Andrew McCarthy while watching the movie St. Elmo’s Fire at the park, on his iPhone. I’m sure he took the opportunity to do any number of exercises in front of the TV, right?

I’m not even going to talk about the challenges in which he was carried by other people across Manhattan or like a baby. You will have to see those for yourself. I think I’ve proven that at the very least, Mark is a very fit comedian, and maybe even the fittest one on YouTube.

Do you have some favorite fitness-related video clips or websites? Please let me know in the comments below!